I wished I was in KL right now :(((

Life hasn't been a bed of roses recently.

Been questioning whether I'm stuck in the rut I'm in cos of myself or the circumstances. I guess it's a little of both. Maybe cos I've been so worried and scared that I'll make mistakes. Maybe it's cos I took the wrong step in the first place. So many maybes. People have told me that this is a phase, I just have to get through it. But in the process of getting through it, I fumble, try to stand, and then fumble again.

You're right, I am afraid of making mistakes. And that phobia is so great, that I'm losing confidence in myself and things that I do. But what if I leave, and still face the same probs?

At the risk of sounding like a teenybopper song, I'm so confused I dunno what to do. I wanna stop and reflect, but time doesn't wait ya?

I wanna get out of this vicious cycle.

Is it jealousy or inferiority that I smell?

I think it's both.

Shoooo the both of you! Shoo shoo shoo!

Okay this is probably gonna be my last entry for 2009 and it's gonna be LONG.

Wanted to switch to Wretch initially, but due to my incompetence in Chinese and me being so comfortable in LJ, I think I'm gonna park myself here (: Speaking of which, one of my 2010 resolution is to blog more often, even if it's just 1 line, haha!

2009 has been a helluva ride for me (then again, which year isn't?). I did things I never expected myself to do, I went to places I've never been, I learnt new things and made new friends. Technically speaking, there's nothing to complain about so if anybody asked me how was 2009, I would say it's pretty good. Life is never smooth-sailing anyway so I guess we just gotta take things as they come. 见招拆招 as the saying goes. Easy to say, but sometimes I myself have difficulties doing that.

Lots to learn and improve on, hopefully in 2010 I'll be MALT (More Action Less Talk).

Ok enough of the cheeminology stuff, here's what yours truly has been up to (:

24/12-No half-day :( But we ordered pizza anyway (: Went to Bugis with Judy to do last minute shopping and nearly got squashed :( Headed to Shu En's church for Christmas Eve service then carolling afterwards. Interesting experience I must say, just that sleepy-dopey me felt tired after a while.

25/12-Lunch with the family first. Had yummy but super jelak baked rice. Met the secondary school clique for a 'picnic'. Original plan was to go Marina Barrage, but despite Clara telling me that it MIGHT rain, stubborn me insisted on going there. It really rained (duh, it's December!) and we settled ourselves at Esplanade to finish the food instead. Haha eating the chicken was a challenge mannnn. Had yummy dessert at Azabu Sabo for the first time too (: I love me friends. We don't meet often but we can still laugh and talk like we used to (: Me likes that.

26/12-Went to see Mummies exhibition at National Museum with YJ. Gosh, I didn't know Singaporeans love their Mummies (pun intended) so much! But the exhibits were really interesting, reminded me of how I wanted to be an archeologist when I was a kid, hehe.

My Boxing Day Lunch-Luncheon meat with beehoon soup. Haha sounds plain but the soup is really nice (: Plus, there's papaya, supposedly good for complexion.







Then I was off to Fabian's birthday party. Pretty garden setting (:

27/12-Met up with RY (: Kidd was really nice to treat us to Marmalade Pantry. IT WAS GOOOOOODDDD! Thank you so much Kidd! Stuffed myself silly that night. Good to catch up with RY too (:

28/12-29/12: Went shopping for stuff with Wen Li. TSK $$ is running out fast :( But yet shopping feels so good! Ate at Mongkok Cha Chan Ting and R Burger again, lovelove!





Working from home really doesn't suit me. As it is, my attention span is short enough already. Bahhhh. Kinda thankful that it's back to office next week.

新的一年， 我会加油的！ 一定要!

Yes yes this blog is still alive! Almost forgot what it's like to blog already :P So many things to update that I don't even know where to start.

Anyhooboo, the year is coming to an end already, it's X'mas this Friday! And I'm off from work from X'mas till the coming year (: (ok there's nothing to happy about actually cos it's compulsory leave, but holidays are better than no holidays) Wahaha..And I've got programmes from 24th all the way till 27th (: Catching up with friends has never felt this gooooooodddd :D

Happy holidays everyone! Have a merry merry time (:

Listening to Fahrenheit's 很安静 as I'm typing this. (Hold back your comments about my fangirlishness first ok) Very apt song cos it's really quiet in my house now. Maid's prob asleep already, Sis and Bro are out, and my parents are in M'sia. Enjoy this peace and quietness actually. Everyday, I'm surrounded with people. Be it on the bus, lunch at my office's canteen, at the office, everywhere. That's when I learn to treasure being alone.

This week has been a roller-coaster one for me so far. I overdid things, let my imagination run to the North Pole, and gave myself heaploads of stress for nothing. I was a cranky, whiny girl yesterday too. That's bad. Fighters don't whine. Trying not to crack yet, cos this is not the most stressful period yet. I dunno if I can survive, really. Just a lil' bit and I'm at my boiling point already. Gotta learn how to manage stress.

My mood is like a yo-yo too. I sway from Go-getter to Loser. I don't wanna be a loser ok!! (Duh who wants to be one)

I'm ranting.

I'm gonna give it a second try, this time on my own. I appreciate everbody's advice and well-wishes, but let me try just once on my own. At least I can say I did it for myself.

Watched 2 movies last week, Jennifer's Body (with RY, Amelia, Alvin and Tony) and My Sister's Keeper (with Poh Ying). Megan Fox is HOT man! It's not just her body, but EVERYTHING about her. Is she even human? Silly me thought it was a comedy, and it turned out to be a horror-comedy. Well it's not really scary but more of bloody. Can you imagine Megan Fox as a man-eater (literally)? Like, totally applies to her man, ha!

My Sister's Keeper was quite a moving movie, but I didn't tear as much, surprisingly. I thought that the cinema won't be so packed cos Halloween partygoers would be at clubs, but I was so wrong! And the GV lady was quite impatient la, though I don't really blame her cos the queue was freaking long. And what's with Singaporeans and their toilet habits? PS toilets made me feel like I'm in a 3rd world country. And don't blame it on the cleaners, cos the crowd's too much for them to handle. TSK.

Graduation on Wednesday was pretty good. got to catch up with friends and all. Alas, my contact lenses failed me so I had to wear my specs :( Lasik, perhaps?

Finally got started on Project C (: A lil' sense of achievement, though I suspect I'm over that craze already. but it's gonna start next month when I see him again.

Sleepy Sleepy. Today's not a productive day at work :(

Especially when it comes to home-cooked food (:

And to answer LJ's question, the band/s I would like to see live in concert would be SS501 and Super Junior! Well I would fly to Korea to see em if I had ka-ching ka ching, cos it's killing two birds with one stone no? Great performance plus holiday.

Wishful thinking ya!

So an sms frm Shu the Chimp led to a meet-up with Elshan, whom Chimp, Germ and I haven't seen in a while. And oh my, Elshan has changed a lot, and for the better too, haha! Had a nice time catching up with them over lunch at fish&co (: Haha can't wait for our xiao long bao buffet next (: Me loves xiao long baos (:









Didn't announce it in my previous post but I finally completed Boys Over Flowers yesterday! Haha ok I know I'm damn slow but there were a lot of interruptions in between :P 

I'm entering the working world on Monday.
Unbelievable.

Went to Batam with my mum yesterday, and well, I found it a lil' boring :/ Maybe I wasn't really in the mood cos my contact lens were making me feel real uncomfortable and there wasn't much to shop. Ha..probably due to my high expectations. Well, not every place is like Taiwan isn't it?

But I must share this pic cos it's really interesting..





Haha..my eyes nearly popped out when I saw that. Hmm, is it considered copyright infringement?

And then there's local food..Gado gado, one of the few things I liked there.





Of course, how could we leave Batam without buying J Co donuts? 

Been pondering over some issues recently. It seems weird that something which happened over a year ago is still fresh in my memory, maybe cos I haven't really tried to let go and forget, but merely distracted myself with things so that I could numb myself. It doesn't really work, so maybe now I'll really have to learn to move on properly if not I'll never do. And as for the other issue, I know many people think of it just as a passing fancy, something I'll grow out of once I get tired. Someone I know calls it "appreciating liability". I guess it is, and I'll probably stupid enough to immerse myself further, know that it leads nowhere. But for now, I don't wanna leave yet. Maybe I'll do one day, just not now.

And so Sunday marks my last day at the chocolatier. While I won't say it's the best job in the world, I won't say it's the worse too. Cos at there, I made friends, ate fantastic chocs (yum!!), and saw the many different types of people, as well as the ugly and beautiful sides of human nature. I learnt a lot there, and I hope my stay there was a fruitful one. So long, farewell.

i'll be starting work on Monday! Can't believe it. It's my first full-time job so I'm excited and nervouse at the same time, whether I can cope with the transition to working life, and if I can perform well. Fingers and toes crossed!

Ok it's video time, gotta go (:

Aced Distinctions for Comm Research and Conflict Management =D Yay!! Comm research is a miracle especially cos I screwed up the test and could remember anything. I used to have a knack for screwing up at the last lap so it's good I made it smoothly to the finishing line this time (:

And something good happened today too (: